


Leaving On A Jet Plane

by your_starless_eyes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cute, Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Feelings, Feels, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Forehead Kisses, Hugs, I feel like that's totally something that would happen ngl, Light Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Morning Kisses, One Shot, Promises, Romantic Fluff, Short, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Sleepy Kisses, Songfic, Travel, he proposes with lettuce instead of a ring for the sake of a pun, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 18:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_starless_eyes/pseuds/your_starless_eyes
Summary: "I don't want to go.""I know. Shh, it's okay.""I-I don't want to leave you.""I know."***So kiss me and smile for meTell me that you'll wait for meHold me like you'll never let me go'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet planeDon't know when I'll be back againOh babe, I hate to go...





	Leaving On A Jet Plane

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3:43 AM and I feel incredibly sad because I shattered my heart reading Bluebird.
> 
> Solution? Write a fluffy, slightly angsty fic.
> 
> Inspired by
> 
> Leaving On A Jet Plane  
> John Denver  
> Rhymes and Reasons  
> 1969
> 
> ··dedicated to Sarah. I love you, girlie··

> _All my bags are packed / I'm ready to go / I'm standin' here outside your door / I hate to wake you up to say goodbye / But the dawn is breakin' / It's early morn / The taxi's waitin' / He's blowin' his horn / Already I'm so lonesome / I could die // So kiss me and smile for me / Tell me that you'll wait for me / Hold me like you'll never let me go // 'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane / Don't know when I'll be back again / Oh babe, I hate to go // There's so many times I've let you down / So many times I've played around / I tell you now, they don't mean a thing / Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you / Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you / When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring // Now the time has come to leave you / One more time / Let me kiss you / Then close your eyes / I'll be on my way / Dream about the days to come / When I won't have to leave alone / About the times, I won't have to say / / Oh, kiss me and smile for me / Tell me that you'll wait for me /Hold me like you'll never let me go / 'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane / Don't know when I'll be back again..._

_~Leaving On a Jet Plane, John Denver (Rhymes And Reasons, 1969)_

***

Phil pushes his hair back in the mirror, studying his reflection as he shaves. Already the day has a grim aura to it, and it's only 5:42 in the morning. He hums softly, rinsing the razor before splashing water on his face and patting himself dry. He pulls out his aftershave, dabbing it onto his jaw and cheeks with practised fingers. Phil picks up his glasses and slides them back on to his face before turning out the light and exiting the bathroom.

Silently, Phil makes his way through the flat. The normally warm and comforting place feels more like a grave than a home this morning. He pauses outside his bedroom door, and after a second of debate, he pushes it open.

Dan is sound asleep on the right side of the bed, curled up and hugging one of Phil's pillows to his chest. His ankles are visible and his sock covered feet poke out from beneath the green and blue duvet Phil calls not his own, but theirs. Chest tight, Phil walks across the room and sits down on the left side of the bed, picking up a small box from his dresser drawer.

"Dan," he chokes out. Dan doesn't stir, so Phil clears his throat and tries again. "Dan, wake up, love."

Dan groans softly, rolling over. Phil smiles sadly.

"Dan, please." He rubs between Dan's shoulder blades. "Sit up, at least."

Dan makes a muffled noise, like a mewl, but he pushes himself up into a crumpled, somewhat upright, position. "Wha's happ'nin'?" he mumbles.

"I have to leave soon," Phil reminds him, pushing Dan's dark, tangled curls up out of his face. "I wanted to see you before then."

"Oh." Phil sees the sobering reminder hit Dan, sees how he physically flinches as he blinks quickly and straightens up. " _Oh_. That's today."

"Yeah." Phil sighs sadly. "That's today."

"How long?" Dan asks.

"Still don't know," Phil answers, looking down. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Dan leans forward and hugs Phil tightly. "Don't be, Phil."

"I hate to leave you alone," Phil whispers into Dan's dark hair. He gently kisses along the younger man's hairline, stopping at his ear. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dan replies, holding on to Phil's waist tightly. "I'll manage."

Phil makes a small sound of agreement, pulling back and tilting Dan's head up. "Tell me you'll wait for me?"

"Phil Lester, I will wait until the day I die for you," Dan whispers. "You know that."

"I love you," Phil repeats. He doesn't give Dan a chance to speak; he just closes the small gap between their mouths and kisses him gently.

Dan shifts so that he's able to sit in Phil's lap, his knees on either side of the older man's legs. He doesn't break the kiss, moving his arms so that they're around Phil's neck. His fingers play with the short strands of black hair at the nape of Phil's neck. Dan kisses desperately; it's as if Phil is oxygen and he's a drowning man. Phil lets him, his hands sliding up the back of Dan's loose t-shirt and clutching at his shoulders.

"Dan," Phil gasps, pulling back. His blue eyes are swimming with tears behind the black rims of his glasses. "Oh, God."

"It's okay." Dan gently wipes a tear from Phil's lightly freckled cheeks. "Everywhere I go, I'll think of you. Will you do the same?"

"Of course." Phil lets out a small whimpering sound. "I don't want to go."

"I know." Dan kisses Phil's cheek gently, and that's all it takes to make Phil start crying. "Shh, it's okay."

"I- I don't want to leave you," Phil chokes out, burying his face in Dan's shirt.

"I know," Dan repeats, moving off of Phil's lap. "I don't want you to go either."

"I'm sorry." Phil's words are hushed and thick with grief. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologise," Dan pleads. "Phil, it's okay. You'll be back in no time."

"Kiss me?" Dan nods, leaning forward and kissing Phil slowly. It's nothing like it was before; this time it's full of sadness and longing, like Dan already misses his dark haired counterpart despite being right beside him.

It's a goodbye.

Phil's phone lets out a sound that startles both of them away from each other. Phil looks at it and cringes.

"What?" Dan asks.

Phil swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly. "My cab's almost here- about ten minutes."

Dan is silent for a second, processing the words, and then he throws his arms around Phil and buries his face in the older man's shirt. "I don't want you to leave. It's selfish, I know it is, but I don't."

"I don't want to go, either," Phil whispers, trying not to cry. "I'm sorry, Dan. I have no control over this."

"I know." Dan nips gently at Phil's shoulder, like he's toying with the idea of sucking a dark mark into the pale skin. Microscopically, Phil shakes his head no, and Dan's lips travel up his neck before he pulls back. "I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, Phil. Know that, remember it."

"I will," Phil promises, running his fingers down the side of Dan's face. He gently pokes his nose, and Dan smiles. "Get up for a second, love?"

"Yeah." Dan scoots away and lets Phil stand. Phil takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.

"This is a bit spur of the moment," he begins, his face a light shade of pink as he shoves his hands in his pockets, "but, knowing you, the idea something might happen, that I might meet someone and forget you while I'm gone has probably crossed your mind."

"It has," Dan allows. He moves to the edge of the bed, his long legs hanging over the side.

"That's why..." An idea hits Phil, and he takes Dan's hand. "Follow me."

"Okay?" Dan seems a bit perplexed, but Phil has a plan. He leads Dan down the stairs, to the kitchen, and stops by the fridge.

"Close your eyes," Phil instructs. Dan frowns, but he does as Phil says. Phil opens the fridge, pulling out a head of lettuce. He gets down on one knee and hides the lettuce behind his back. "Open them."

"What kind of joke are you playing, Lester?" Dan huffs, but he does. He gasps, covering his mouth in shock when he sees Phil.

"Like I said, it's a bit, uh, spur of the moment." Phil laughs, blushing harder. "I love you, Dan. I love you more than you will ever know. You mean everything to me, and then some."

"I- I love you too," Dan stammers in response. He seems overwhelmed, but Phil's not done.

"That's why..." He trails off, holding out the lettuce. "Lettuce be married, if you'd like."

Dan bursts out laughing and hits Phil in the shoulder. "You're so stupid! I hate you!"

"Guess we..." Phil stands and opens the fridge, pulling out a fruit. " _Cantaloupe_ , either."

"Stop!" Dan cries, laughing harder. He throws his arms around Phil, kissing him hard. Phil stumbles backwards, but he sets the fruit on the counter and kisses back. Tangling the fingers of his left hand through Dan's hair, Phil uses his right hand to grip Dan's hip tightly. It's messy and excited, but Phil can't imagine anything better. Phil just lets Dan kiss him, lets the younger man keep him pinned against the counter.

"Mm, Dan, I-" Phil's words are muffled by Dan's mouth, so he pulls back just slightly. "Got you an actual ring, if you'd like. Nothing too fancy, sorry, but..."

"You're too good to me," Dan breathes. "Too fucking good."

"I love you," Phil repeats softly. "More than anything."

Phil's phone lets out a ring before Dan can reply, jolting both of them back to reality. The moment is gone; the somber realisation is weighing down on them both.

"Cab's here," Dan chokes out, stepping back and hiding his face behind his hands.

"Yeah." Phil lets out a long sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Stop fucking apologising, Phil!" Dan snaps. "Goddamn! It's not your fault your great aunt from America or whoever died. It's not your fault someone asked for an interview a week later and staying is logistically the best thing to do. It's not your fault YouTube wants to do a thing with you. Shut up."

"Sor-" A withering glare from Dan kills the word on Phil's tongue. "I love you," he tries weakly.

Dan kisses him softly again, hugging Phil tightly. "I love you too, you fool. So, so much. That's why, as hard as it for me, I'm letting you go."

"It's not forever," Phil reminds him. "I'll be back in no time."

The sound of a horn blowing outside the flat quickly murders whatever was left of the shared, intimate space.

Dan pulls back, tears in his coffee coloured eyes. "So long?"

"Smile for me, love?" Phil requests. Dan forces one, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I promise, I'll be back for you as soon as I can."

"One day," Dan whispers, his voice breaking, "you won't have to leave be behind. One day, I'll be right there beside you, for everything, Phil. Your best friend, your lover, your business partner, and your husband. One day."

"One day," Phil echoes softly. He opens his mouth to say more, but the cabbie is getting impatient. Phil sighs sadly, walking across the kitchen and into the lounge. He picks up his suitcase and backpack.

"Try to enjoy yourself, as much you can," Dan instructs. "No moping around, mister. Take the time to catch up with family."

"No promises, love," Phil replies, smiling gently. It's tinged with sadness, poisoned by grief and guilt. He kisses Dan one last time. "It's not good bye."

"No, of course not," Dan replies, tears dripping down his freckled cheeks. "Just... see you later. No one says good bye unless they plan to see you again, right?"

"Right," Phil agrees hollowly. He opens the front door, stepping outside it. "Well, see you, beautiful."

"See you, gorgeous," Dan returns. Phil's lips twitch into something reminiscent of a smile, but not quite. He turns and walks down the stairs quickly, hair moving with every step. Dan watches until he can't any longer, and then he shuts and locks the door, slumping against it and crying freely.

Phil has left nothing- not even a ghost.

In fact, it's only once Phil is settled down in his plane seat, awaiting take off, that he realises that he still had Dan's ring.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me?
> 
> Instagram - cosmologicaldan  
> Twitter - cosmologicaldan  
> Art Insta - dimstarlitnights  
> Quotev - dimstarlitnights  
> 


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